Just a phase.

I know. Havent blog for ages.
Just feel so pointless to put down all my thoughts and feelings in here.
So many things had happened. Moved to Cheras, got more and more emo. Probably due to the fact that i have nobody there.

Roommate is ok, very quiet, mind her own business. Barely talk to her. Other housemates are the same. Everyone just mind their own business.
We have our own everything, toilet tissue, dishwasher, detergents etc. Can you imagine 10 people living the house and there's 10 detergents? 10 dishwasher? 10 toilet rolls. 10 everything.

Doesn't help that i had cold wars with my uni friends recently, but things are at least better now. On talking terms but not exactly talking laughing.

Didn't intend to blog about all that cos my blog is already very gloomy but today is just the final straw. I've always thought that no matter what happens there, i'll still have my loyal friends back home, but today something happened and it just hit me. Well, i know that i'll still have good, true and loyal friends but today, i felt like i just lost one.

I feel like i'm nobody to someone important back home. Someone whom i thought will always be a shoulder to cry on and that i can rely on. But today, it just hit me, and i finally realised what others had been trying to tell me. It's not as if it's a sudden realisation from god etc but something happened today.
What i'm feeling right now is like Rihanna's Rehab.

'Cause anytime that you needed me
I'd be there
It's like You were my favorite drug
The only problem is That you was using me
In a different way That I was using you

Yea. I felt i've been used. When that someone ask me to accompany, the very moment itself i said yes, regardless of what i was doing or going to do. But when i ask, i got a reply of one word sms "Later" and i replied, "huh? What time?"
and then no more. No more reply. Got me thinking and waiting, what is this supposed to mean?

3-4 hours later, a call came from that person and in the background, i could hear joyous laughter and all that was said was "i replied to the wrong person". And that person wasn't even apologetic, but infact was laughing!

Maybe i'm being emotional here but when i think back, i realised it's not the first time. Time and time again, that person backed out on me the very last minute. I realised that whenever that person need someone, i'm always there. In a minute.

But it's the opposite with me. That person is always not there when i need someone. I always make excuses for that person. Maybe just too busy, or didnt notice etc but today just proved i'm wrong all these while.

I seriously hope i'm wrong cos i dont wanna lose a good friend. Felt like i've already lost my uni friends, and now this. Friends are getting lesser and lesser.

Hm...i'm hoping this is just a growing phase for me. A phase for me to learn things, understand things and hopefully, this phase would be better soon. Keep on telling myself, this will past, it's all just a process of growing emotionally. This WILL past.

Soon hopefully.

Happy Niu Year

Happy moo moo year everyone! Anyone wanna invite me to their house for CNY? hehe..i'm available all the time..

Anyway, here's the 2009 Horoscopes for Year of the OX :)

I google it up, so dont blame me if it doesnt come true ya... xP

RAT
This year is a stable year for family life and will be a joyful year. Career wise the rats will take on more responsibilities and will feel the pressure of the extra duties. A good year of steady progress.

TIGER:
This is the year for keeping a low profile, tigers. Because of the slow pace of the OX year, it will be a frustrating time for you. You like things to be move quicker, you will need to show restraint.

RABBIT:
The year of the OX is well suited to the rabbit nature. The slower pace of this year will see you spending more time with friends and family. A good year to upgrade your home, or for buying or selling a house.

Dragon:
In business and in romance your word for this year is integrity. Keep your head down and you will make steady progress this year. Established relationships will be comfortable and easy during this year of the OX. A slow but sure progress will be made.

SNAKE:
A very good year for Snakes! The steady pace of the OX year is well suited to the snake person. Act on an opportunity - this is your year.

HORSE:
Although you are rearing to surge ahead, this is another year of caution for the horse. Not a good year to strike out in new directions, consolidate your positions instead. On the brighter side, Love will bring comfort this year.

SHEEP:
The Ox is the direct opposite of the sheep, therefore expect challenges in all areas this year. Keep a low profile.

MONKEY:
This is a year of moderate progress for monkeys. Work will slow down this year allowing the monkey more personal time. It also allows for quality time with friends and family.

ROOSTER:
Great opportunities for rooster this year. A good time to recoup losses. You will make great progress at work, reaping rewards of your labor. Emotional ties bring joy. Your prestige and reputation increase.

DOG:
A year for dogs to keep a low profile. Put more attention into matters at home, spending quality time with loved ones. The simple pleasures will bring happiness this year.

PIG:
A year for the pig to follow his/her instinct, laying foundations for the future. This is a bright and hopeful year for the pig. Do not take unnecessary risks though.

I've evolved

From my first post back in 2004 until now, i've really grown up.
The way i blog last time was shall i say, kiddy and whiny. Lol.
I used to blog about my holidays, my work experience etc. You know, boring stuff like that. Hehe..what do you expect, i was 17 at that time...

But the weird thing is that my English last time was better than now. Well, that's what i think.

I used to have a diary back when i was 10 years old. A real diary, handwritten and sometimes filled with silly artworks. I had it up until i was form 5 then i decided to give it up cos i found blogging is way 'cooler'. Lol. But of course there are limitations to blogging. Like you can't post about your fantasies, bitchings about friends, crushes u had on ur frens private matters.

I even had names for all my 6 diaries! (one for each year) Lol.
You could say they were my best friends at that time. haha. From those diaries, i found out who was my first crush when i was 10 years old, my first bag, my first period (yes, i even wrote this down!), my favourite cartoon (Rugrats!), and even my first birthday present!

No, i won't reveal all that here. It's really funny reading those silly "omg, XXX stares at me in skool today!". I wrote everything down. Back then, all that matters to me was what score i got for maths, or what XXX was wearing on 'Hari Kanak-Kanak', or daydreaming about Boyzone singing a song for me. Lol. Those were the days, huh?

Now, everything is different. Everyone has grown up, friends drifted apart, some has changed, some has not. I have changed. For better, i hope. It takes effort to maintain friendships.

So, if you think you have not say 'hi' to me for a long time, it's time to do so!!! :D

Dysfunctional

I think i've a dysfunctional family. I'd like to think i don't have one.
In fact, i'm those people who will pity other dysfunctional family and silently thank god that my family is normal. But with so many things that happened lately, i can't ignore that fact.

I'm not gonna show and tell here. I was brought up with 'family matters are for family only' mentality. No matter how close you are with me, you'll never gonna know about my family problems. Sure, i might tell u the surface of it, but not the whole thing. So, please don't ask, i will tell you if u buy me Rihanna's ticket i feel like telling.

Just feel like ranting. But on a happier note, Congrats Eddy for finding the love of his life! We're all happy for you :)

I wanna go Rihanna's concert.

I've been finding people to join me but no luck yet.

Nobody seems to be interested! Why???? Rihanna's so hot!
I dont understand...

For those of you who don't know she's coming here:


Anyone wants to join me?? I'm thinking of getting the RM158 one if i were to go:



But RM158 one is free standing arenas. I have a feeling i will get squash by the crowd.
Alternative: Wear 5 inch heels or bring a chair!

But anyway, need to find ppl go with me first.

Anyone?? *Big pleading eyes*

My first time.

Went to Euphoria yesterday night with Sui Jing and her friends.
Hehe..was excited cos the first time going clubbing.
Yes, pathetic i know. 22 years old. I feel so old there.

Seriously, the people over were like 18, or 19.
But anyway, it was fun there. Euphoria is the only club around which is non-smoking.

Perfect for me cos i absolutely hate the smell of smoke. Hate going to those mamak with a lot of ppl smoking. End up have to wash hair again after mamak. Spoils the fun la..

But one thing though, yesterday's music was kind of weird. Maybe that's how trance and techno sounds like but i dont like it. Prefer RnB and Pop. At least can feel the beat. But the dance floor damn keng la.

The dancefloor vibrates to the music. Seriously, it moves! haha... my fren couldnt stand properly in her high heels.

But one thing that seriously irritates me was that some guys like to go behind girls and gyrate their balls to the girls ass when she's dancing. Really annoying.

I find that so irritating. Come on, we just wanna dance. Give us a break man..
Just so pervert.

But all in all, it was alright. Free cover charge plus a free drink cos it was ladies night.
Anyone going clubbing, call me! lol. I'm beginning to feel i'm converted.