Sep 30, 2005

What a discovery!

I have always been the cheerful and hilarious one among my friends but ever since I moved to High School I have changed tremendously. I wasn’t aware of it until my best friend told me how different I have become, how quiet and timid, how negative, how I isolated myself among others and how anti-social I have become. I spent one whole day thinking about what she told me, whether or not it was true. Then I realized she was true all along. I was not aware of the changes in me.

I took a 180 turn from my old self and became a new person whom I did not recognize. Then it struck me that I NEED to change to my old self because the new me is killing me socially.

With that, I made a vow to talk to everyone and to be cheerful the next day I go to school. And I did. I went to school with a positive and cheerful mind, greeting ‘hi and morning’ to a lot of people. I talk to many people whom I wasn’t aware of, even though they were just a class beside me. In fact, I talk the most today compared to these few months in high school. It felt good to be able to talk voice out and be heard. I finally get to know a lot of them and to my surprise; they weren’t as bad as I thought. Now, deep down inside I felt really good and happy.

I used to think that smart people are those who are happiest because they get more recognition that those who are not but I found out that a lot of smart and top scorers in my class are terrible in real human communication.
For example, I knew one guy who is extremely smart and good looking and sits behind me in class, but he never talks to others except his own friends. He struck me as one hell of a snobbish and nosy guy who thinks he is the BEST. I even heard him bitching about others to his own friends. Pathetic and vain.
From this I have come to a conclusion that the essence of life is not how smart or successful you are but in fact it is how you treat others and how they treat in turn.

Sep 18, 2005

Happy Mid autumn!

I have always loved celebrating mid-autumn festival. When I was a kid, my mom would always bring us to grandma’s house where all my relatives would gather to celebrate this once-a-year-festival. I, my siblings and cousins enjoyed playing candles, lanterns (we absolutely loved to burn them) and eating moon cake. Since, my grandparents live in a Chinese village; this festival is celebrated with much enthusiasm, with the children playing lanterns, the teenagers playing fireworks and the adults enjoying their conversations. My grandparents’ garden would be surrounded by candles and filled with laughers. My 4th auntie, whom I considered to be ‘cool’ would bring along her kids, all whom are still very young and also lots of fireworks. She would then be the commander and the kids were her recruits.
She would teach us to play fireworks, not those minor ones but huge and extremely loud ones. Her children were the elite groups where they would li
t the fireworks in their hands, and threw them on the floor, precisely on time before it explode with a loud bang. We enjoyed competing with the neighbors to see who could play them better. Whenever we hear a loud firework, we would feel challenged and lit a louder one. Despite all the danger no one got hurt before, perhaps because of the ‘training’ provided by my auntie. We used to have this tradition of reusing empty coconut shells. We would fill them up with wax (leftover from candles scrapped from the garden) and burn them. They produced a very nice coconut smell. The day would end with everyone taking a walk the in neighborhood, along with lanterns.

But sadly, over the past few years, mid autumn festival has just been another ordinary celebration. My family no longer goes to my grandpa’s house as there was no more celebration there. I have not seen some of my cousins for months, the last time were during Chinese New Year. Because I stay in a city where there are only a handful of Chinese, mid autumn festival is just another typical working Saturday.