New work, new begining?

I almost forgot i have a blog. I guess i just stopped writing after making this blog private.

Didn't want the whole world to know, i value my privacy! And didn't want all the questioning and stuff.

Anyway, another 3 more days and i'll be starting new job. Just can't wait! Especially after rotting at home for 2 weeks, no, 3 weeks actually. Yes, 3 bloody weeks!! Not that i have a choice anyway. I was hoping to start earlier :(

I've done everything i could think of in the past 2 weeks. Everything. I guess i should grateful and not whine so much. The free time gave me the chance to think about the past one year, which has been great and mistakes-prone! But oh well, people grow from mistakes. The saying 'What doesn't kill us, will only makes us stronger' is so true. I just wished i could stop being so emotional, and over-think things. Need to increase my EQ!

Hopefully, i will find what i want in the new company. Start afresh and not make the same mistakes again. Think before i do, and don't get driven by emotion. 

Day 4: Resisting the urge

Today sucked a little. Not as horrible as the first though. But still had the urge to pick up my phone and text him. Whenever the phone rang, i hoped it was him. It'll get better, it had to.

*** Remember the times you would plan to meet up with him and he wouldnt change his schedule around to accomodate you and just left you hanging and showed no remorse for cancelling the plans...the disappointment, anger and sadness that consumed you

Remember how he was never there for you when you needed him and how he never took the time to see what was happening in your life it was all about him and his "horrible" life. Selfish bastard.

Remember how YOU were the only one to jump through the hoops and go out of your way to see him and plan meetings with him. You enabled him and planned your life around his...and he gave you nothing in return. ***

Day 1

Horrible. Never thought i would feel this way. Trying hard not to think of it, wanted to talk to someone so badly about it but couldn't. Joan, u need to be stronger!

Guess who's back?

Yes, it's me.

Sorry for the absence! So much had happened this year. SO MUCH.
I started writing this blog back then due to boredom but eventually, this has blog has become my own personal diary. Personal, but not too personal. Some things are meant to remain a secret. Which explains the absence...i just can't openly write about my feelings anymore. It's too...private. I used to have a little black diary that i wrote everyday about everything (i was 10!) but i stopped  because of this blog.

When i first started writing, i could bitch about everyone or everything without a care in the world. That was when i thought no one would ever read my boring blog. But then, I realised that by having this blog, i'm exposing myself to everyone. Anyone could just google my name and this blog pops out on the first page.

So, i reserved my feelings and private matters to myself and started writing about mundane stuff like my daily life, the World Cup, and some other boring stuff. Eventually, i got bored and stopped writing... not to mention i got lazy.

Playing with Fire

I just can't help it.

There's just something about playing with dangerous thing that attracts me so much. The bigger the fire, the more irresistible. You're scared of getting burnt but at the same time, you feel excited being on the edge of burning. It's like a challenge to see how long i can play with it and if i could get away unhurt. It's the adrenaline, the challenge and the risks that keeps me so addicted to it. I am playing with fire once again and i hope no one gets burnt, unlike the last time.

World’s Coolest Intern with Standard Chartered Bank

Okay, technically, i am considered a graduate, with a little over 4 months of working experience. So the word 'intern' brings back some aweful fond memories. Having said that, i just couldn't resist this cool opportunity from Standard Chartered. Take a look below and i bet you're gonna start writing your own entries too!

Standard Chartered Bank is on the lookout for the ‘World’s Coolest Intern’ to join the Breeze mobile banking team in Singapore. If Tweetdeck and Facebook are the first things to greet you in the morning and the last things you say good night to, you’re exactly the type of person they’re looking for!

Curious to know what’s in store? It’s nothing short of impressive:
- A 6-month internship programme with total remuneration of SGD30,000
- Perks includes training on social media and online engagement from Standard Chartered’s esteemed partners

SGD30k for 6 months for an intern job??!! You have got to be kidding me! That's like SGD5k a month. Okay, okay, money aside, I'm absolutely sure i fits into the facebook-ing criteria (To my bosses at work; no, i don't facebook at work!). It's an automatic ritual that i've got to do every night. Online, open mozilla and pops, without me realising it, my fb is on the browser. I am however, not a 'stalker' on fb. I don't stalks people's profile but i enjoy looking at people's pictures (especially those silly childhood photos) and post silly comments on my friends' walls.

I am cool enough to join this program because i am cool. Or so i think. I'll let you be the judge. I'd say i am spontaneous, decisive, works hard and play hard too! Hey, there must be a balance in life isn't it?

Spontaneous. Let's start with deciding to drive up to Genting spontaneously for a 2 hours 'mamak' sessions at 12am! One phone call, and 10 minutes later, me and 3 other girlfriends were on our way up to Genting. The funniest part was, none of us knew how to get there! We were ALL not locals (not from KL at least), all females and i was driving my small little kelisa. I must stress that it wasn't as reckless as it sounded at that moment. We just had a stressful week packed with finals and assignments, so when it was finally over, we just had to go somewhere. But, we ended up in Genting safely!

Decisive. It's not hard for me to make a decision. I usually do that in my group of friends. Where to eat, what to do, where to go etc. I can finish shopping in a five levels shopping mall in Bangkok (Platinum Mall) for 3 hours but still ended up with at least 5 dresses. I do however find it hard to pick that perfect man in my life.

Work hard and play hard! That's my motto. I've always had that in my mind. When i study, i make sure i study really hard. And when i party, it's gonna be hell of a party! I used to study for 8 hours straight,7 days a week. When i say study, i really mean just-sit-down-and-study-and-do-nothing kind of study. No handphones, radios, TVs and computers allowed. Locked doors and a big bottle of water. The same goes to work. I make sure my task is completed before going home and even if that means staying up in the office till 11pm.

Play hard. This is by no surprise, the easiest of the lot. After a long and arduous examination week, my friends and i will hit the club until 3am, followed by a monopoly session in a friend's house for 2 hours and a morning dimsum and more chit chats for breakfast! We'd usually hit the sack at 11am. XD

I've not achieved the ultimate coolness in my own judgment. I've yet to bungee jump (or possibly sky diving) and travel around the world. But joining this program would be super cool too. Definitely increase coolness by a few thousands mana points. ;)