New work, new begining?

I almost forgot i have a blog. I guess i just stopped writing after making this blog private.

Didn't want the whole world to know, i value my privacy! And didn't want all the questioning and stuff.

Anyway, another 3 more days and i'll be starting new job. Just can't wait! Especially after rotting at home for 2 weeks, no, 3 weeks actually. Yes, 3 bloody weeks!! Not that i have a choice anyway. I was hoping to start earlier :(

I've done everything i could think of in the past 2 weeks. Everything. I guess i should grateful and not whine so much. The free time gave me the chance to think about the past one year, which has been great and mistakes-prone! But oh well, people grow from mistakes. The saying 'What doesn't kill us, will only makes us stronger' is so true. I just wished i could stop being so emotional, and over-think things. Need to increase my EQ!

Hopefully, i will find what i want in the new company. Start afresh and not make the same mistakes again. Think before i do, and don't get driven by emotion. 

Day 4: Resisting the urge

Today sucked a little. Not as horrible as the first though. But still had the urge to pick up my phone and text him. Whenever the phone rang, i hoped it was him. It'll get better, it had to.

*** Remember the times you would plan to meet up with him and he wouldnt change his schedule around to accomodate you and just left you hanging and showed no remorse for cancelling the plans...the disappointment, anger and sadness that consumed you

Remember how he was never there for you when you needed him and how he never took the time to see what was happening in your life it was all about him and his "horrible" life. Selfish bastard.

Remember how YOU were the only one to jump through the hoops and go out of your way to see him and plan meetings with him. You enabled him and planned your life around his...and he gave you nothing in return. ***

Day 1

Horrible. Never thought i would feel this way. Trying hard not to think of it, wanted to talk to someone so badly about it but couldn't. Joan, u need to be stronger!

Guess who's back?

Yes, it's me.

Sorry for the absence! So much had happened this year. SO MUCH.
I started writing this blog back then due to boredom but eventually, this has blog has become my own personal diary. Personal, but not too personal. Some things are meant to remain a secret. Which explains the absence...i just can't openly write about my feelings anymore. It's too...private. I used to have a little black diary that i wrote everyday about everything (i was 10!) but i stopped  because of this blog.

When i first started writing, i could bitch about everyone or everything without a care in the world. That was when i thought no one would ever read my boring blog. But then, I realised that by having this blog, i'm exposing myself to everyone. Anyone could just google my name and this blog pops out on the first page.

So, i reserved my feelings and private matters to myself and started writing about mundane stuff like my daily life, the World Cup, and some other boring stuff. Eventually, i got bored and stopped writing... not to mention i got lazy.