One side of the story.

I've finally figured out something.

I think the problem with me is that i always make a conclusion too fast. I didn't give the other party a chance to clarify and explain themselves. And i sometimes listen to one side of the story.
I realised that yesterday when i confronted that person i mentioned in my last post. The explanation given was very logical and acceptable, under that circumstances. So, i believed that person and i'm trying hard to salvage the friendship, which i think it's not much damaged cos both parties were cool and okay about it. But nonetheless, i hold to my opinion that that person is my 'drug'. As in i know she/he is toxic and hazardous but i can't live without it.

I've always avoided problems instead of solving them. A number of my friends told me that before and i know it's wrong. But i just can't confront and face the problems. So, yesterday was a big step for me. I think i've faced the problem appropriately. I think.

Maybe i should do the same with my uni friends. But it's hard cos so much had happened and i don't know where to start. I did so much mistakes that i don't have the courage to correct and rectify them.

And i get very defensive when people say i'm wrong. Sometimes, i know i'm wrong, but i can't admit it but instead, i defend my position by justifying my actions. It's like "die die also must say i'm right". It's wrong, i know. Do u think i'm ego? I should just admit my mistakes, and apologise, right? I'm just stubborn and ego.

I think it's in my blood. In fact, i think my whole family is like that. We don't talk about our problems, but instead we avoid it. It just seems like a normal thing to do. See what i mean? i'm justifying my egoness and stubbornness again.