New semester, new begining hopefully..

My holiday is over :(
Starting the new semester this week but still lazy to go back Uni.
Will be going back tomorrow..

Went to watch Wolverine yesterday with Eddy yesterday after picking him up from bus station. After movie, we went to eat and had a really good chat with him. Somehow, his advices brought me back to my senses and i started to think again. *Thanks Eddy for advices on how to deal with guys like him*

I used to be so content with being alone, by myself. I could go watch movie alone, shop alone, spend the rest of the week alone and i felt satisfied with that. But lately, i can't seems to go anywhere alone without having the feeling of people staring at me and think "Poor lonely girl... such a pity to do all that alone". Maybe it has got to do with age or maybe because all my close friends are not by my side anymore.

And i realised that's the reason why i resorted to finding him whenever i felt lonely. But after time, we became very close and i soon discover i might be falling for him. And the fact that he's willing to drive all the way to Cheras to find me on weekend when i was lonely (all 13 housemates were not in) makes me fall one step deeper. But truth is, i'm not sure how he felt towards me, i get mixed signals from him. He's hot and cold. Sometimes i just felt like wanna stranggle him for being so bloody insensitive and ego. Yes, he's ego like me. Which is another reason why we cannot be together. But the main reason is that i don't know whether to trust him or not. Of all 10 friends i ask, almost all said he's not trustable and not a good guy. But the idiot in me says i should trust him. I know, i'm playing with fire.

But after the long chat, i'm half-heartedly letting go of the feelings . Yes, half, not fully. I think i still need time to think everything again. Take one step at a time, slow and steady. Time will tell.

For that to happen,

I have to stop being so emotional.
I have to start to think with my head, not with my heart.
I have to think what's best for MYSELF.